Looking back over the last year it’s been, well a lot more valleys than mountains: friends moving away, church shake ups, fires, car accidents, injuries, cancer, even death. All of this offset by a beautiful baby niece born in December. As I sit on my back deck on a gorgeous July afternoon I realize though, all of life is offset by a baby that was born in December.
There is a song that starts “sometimes my little heart can’t understand / what’s in Your will, what’s in Your plan / so many times I’m tempted to ask You why.” But through all the unknowns, life comes down to this simple question, the title of that song: Do I trust You? When family and friends are far away… When people disappoint and circumstances break hearts… when health seems to be unattainable…. Yes, even when loved ones die – Do I trust that God has His best in mind? Do I trust that Jesus will lead and guide and protect me always?
The second verse of the song goes, “I know the answers I’ve given them all / but suddenly now I feel so small, shaken down to the cavity in my soul / I know the doctrine and theology but right now they don’t mean much to me / this time there’s only one thing I’ve got to know…”
Sometimes we know the answers, but we haven’t paused long enough to remember them. As I look over my life, I see the arc of His faithfulness. Even when things didn’t go my way or make sense at the time He was always in control. Mercifully in control. When I stop and look back, I can refocus and say yes Lord, I do trust You. I don’t always understand you. I don’t always like what You’re doing and the way You do it, but I trust You.
“He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him—not for my earning it, but] for His name’s sake. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.” Psalm 23:3-4 (AMPC)
So while I keep looking for this particular crazy season to end, I continue to trust in Him because He always has been, always is, and always will be faithful.